Dark and Stormy Thoughts
It all started with the bat – see my August 2004 entry. I started thinking about him (her? how do you tell?) a week or so ago. You see, I’m in the habit of blessing dead animals when I come upon them; an idea my mother gave me. And at times, it seems almost as if animals choose to die along a path I will take just to be blessed – there are so many. There have been quite a few road kills on the freeway lately. A raccoon here. A prairie dog there. Deer everywhere. In fact, I saw a baby deer just the other night. It broke my heart. The poor little thing was just lying there on a freeway on-ramp. It still had its spots.
Anyway, all this dead animal activity got me to thinking about the bat. (Can I now say “I see dead animals”? Bad joke. I know.) Why did he choose my vehicle to hide under? Could I have done more to help him out? Could I have helped him die a more dignified death than inside a box in an electrical closet? Cosmically speaking, did I really screw the pooch with this test of my compassion?
And then, there were the bombings in London. Well, since there were 700+ people hurt in that tragic event, it occurred to me that it was in the realm of possibility that I’ve shared an alcoholic beverage and conversation with someone affected by the bombings. I met a lot of people when I spent nine weeks in England 20+ years ago and I still think of many of them. It could happen. Of course, I’ll never know. But it did make me sad.
Why do I think like that sometimes? Is it because it’s been stormy, rainy and dark the last few days? Thunder rolling by like a Mack truck in the sky. Lightning flashing like celestial paparazzi crowded around the newest starlet.
Is it because I’m deeply frustrated with the lack of progress my knee is making? (Chronic pain has been known to cause depression.) It hurts all the time and I’ve gained between 15 and 20 pounds due to the inactivity it forces upon me.
Or maybe, it is just another side effect of having a random mind. Who knows – I could bee thinking of sugar and spice and everything nice next week!
What do you think?
