This little piece first came to me while I was working at SCO in Santa Cruz. Later, while working at City of Hope, I expanded and tweaked it into this faux science abstract. Enjoy!
Mitochondria, the powerhouses of the cell, of each generation are obtained from the mother. Therefore, all mitochondria can be, theoretically, traced back to a single female. In Biblical terms, this woman would be Eve. But Eve came along second. Adam came first. The following summarize the implications maternal mitochondrial source have on the Biblical account of the beginning of humankind:
A) God had not thought of mitochondria until Adam was already created, then thought they would be a nifty idea, and so He put them in Eve when He made her.
B) God thought that Adam’s mitochondria were inferior and therefore He improved them in Eve and made a mechanism that wiped out the inferior mitochondria in subsequent offspring.
C) All mitochondria CAN be traced to a man, and that man is Adam. This is so because Eve got her mitochondria from Adam’s rib when God created her.
D) The Bible lies and Woman was created first.
E) The Bible is a completely fictional piece of work thus making the above points moot.